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How difficult to know what happens to our children at school, right? As much as we have a communication channel with the teachers, what happens in the playground, in the corridors, in the classroom, the children, we do not see and only they can tell us. But of course, in general, when we ask them how they did in school, the answer is almost always 'good', and the talk is over.
If your son's answer to your question about how he did in school has not been what you had imagined and wished for, because what you want to know is what his friendships are like, if someone bothers him, if he is happy With the teacher and classmates, if you are learning, etc., it is best to use strategic questions to find out how you really did in school.
But before knowing what questions to ask to get the information you want out of your child, it is important that you follow some tips so that communication between parents and children is fluid and trustworthy:
- Children are not always available and like parents, they also have their occupations and their moments and priorities. To talk with them it is important to find a suitable, calm and relaxed moment.
- When you talk to your children, do not convert a possible talk into a monologue. You need to talk about your things as well and not just focus on asking them a thousand things. Use empathy in those moments.
- To make your child feel that you are really interested in chatting with him, stay away from everything that may catch your attention: telephones, mobile phones, television, computers, etc. Give it 5 minutes, but without interruption.
- Be understanding and inspire confidence in your children. Listen to them patiently and attentively, and only give them advice if they ask.
- If you notice that your children do not want to talk, do not insist or get angry with them. Leave them and try again at another time.
Once you have these rules very clear, follow the questions with strategies to find out how your child did in school. What the children tell us will help us to have more information and thus achieve a more fluid relationship with them. These questions are geared toward elementary school children but can be adapted for older children.
1. What has been the most entertaining class?
By asking about something fun and positive, children will be more eager to answer. Maybe none, but this way you will know which class your children like the most.
2. Is there anyone new to the school?
With this question, you will also be able to know if there is someone new, if there is a classmate that your child thinks should leave school.
3. What have you done the best at recess?
So you will know not only if he has played, what he has played, but also with whom he has played, and if he has had fun.
4. If you were a magician, would you make a student disappear from the class or the playground?
In a casual way, you will be able to know if there is any other boy or girl who bothers or harasses your child.
5. In the last tutorial with your teacher, they told me that you are very happy. What makes you feel like this at school?
It is easier for children to confirm or go against what a third person said than to say clearly how they feel.
6. If you had to give a minimum and a maximum grade to your classmates, who would you give them to?
You will meet the person your child admires the most in class, and the person they dislike the most.
7. How would you rate your day in class from 1 to 10 and why?
You will know what your child liked and what not.
8. If you met the genie in the lamp, would you change your teacher?
You will know if your child is happy with the teacher he has.
9. Has it been very hot (or cold) in the schoolyard?
With this question you will be able to know if your child has been comfortable in the yard.
10. Have you felt sleepy today at school?
You can tell if your child is bored with how he learns at school. If the classes are interesting or not.
11. Did you eat something new in the dining room today?
From this question you will be able to know if the food has been good, what is missing, those things ...
12. Are you going to make any reforms in your school?
You will know if he likes school and where he needs repairs, etc.
13. Who do you sit with in class?
You will know if the partner who has corresponded is a good person or not.
14. What task was easier for you to follow today?
So you will know not only the easiest as well as the most difficult for him.
15. What is the class that your classmates like the most?
Your child will surely guide the question to himself.
This method can also help parents to know the good and the bad of their children at school. It is a simple and interesting technique to extract more than a 'good' or a 'yes' from children.
In practice, it is applied at a quiet time such as children's bedtime. After reading a story to the children and pampering them with loving and tender words, we asked them:
- What was the rose and the thorn today?
Explain to your child that the rose corresponds to the moment or situation that he liked the most, amused him or made him feel good, while the thorn refers to a sad, painful, annoying situation that he did not like.
If you ask about the rose and the thorn every night, you will be able to know a lot about what he liked about the day and what he did not like. At first children can be brief in their answers, but over time, they will tell you more and more things, what they like and what they don't. The important is:
1. Do not pressure or force him to speak.
2. Answer for them.
3. Do not allow them to finish their answer. Be patient.
4. Losing interest because the child speaks slowly or wanders when speaking.
The success of this method is in not being in a hurry and creating the habit of using this technique every day.
You can read more articles similar to 15 questions to know how your child did in school, in the School / College category on site.