Parents, like teachers and people in general, are very given to labeling children or students. This is one of the most common mistakes that both parents and teachers do on a daily basis.
Why is it wrong to label our children or our students? Why should we undo those labels?
We tell you some guidelines to eliminate the labels we put on our children.
It is an error for basically three reasons:
1- The child is generates a belief that develops in his personality over the years. At least if the label is positive we will have done something good, but in most cases the label is usually negative, such as: Marcos is clueless. If Marcos constantly hears that he is clueless by his teachers and parents, and that is the proper label, Marcos will learn to be more and more clueless, he will acquire a clueless role within his environment, even will use it as an excuse not to put interest in that aspect. He will probably reach adulthood feeding his label and saying things like: "I'm not worth it because I'm clueless", "buff! Don't give me that responsibility, I'm very clueless ..." * I recommend reading the Pygmalion effect .
2- The label leaves you very limited in your changes and personal improvements. If you want your children to be able to change or modify their personality it is very important that they do not have labels.
3- The emotional damage that you can cause in them, which begins as a game, as a joke, or as a small characteristic of the child or the student, little by little, it is internalized as an aspect of their personality, and perhaps will make a emotional damage that could become irreparable.
I recommend several aspects that we must be very clear whether you are a parent or a teacher to remove all tags of the children or students.
1. Have the spirit of a coach, whether you are a parent or teacher, that is, do not judge and empathize with your student / child, and accompany them in improving their attitudes and skills.
2. If at any given moment you want to say something to him, that is something related to that moment and that attitude, do not use a label, do not qualify. For example, if your son has disappointed you today because of the attitude he has had at the table with the family, you will say "Marcos has disappointed me by your behavior at the table" but we will not say "Marcos you are rude", since both parents and teachers look for the immediate effect, and do not read the obvious. Marcos is not disappointing or rude, but his behavior or attitude today has disappointed you or has not been correct.
3. Take care of the language and the way we address children. If the form of expression is negative and projects a negative image, surely it ends up being fulfilled. Example: "Marcos do not take the glass that you are so clumsy you are sure to throw it away", if you say that to Marcos, sooner or later, it is a matter of time, he will throw away the glass, since you have projected what is going on him to happen and in the end the expectation is fulfilled.
4. Don't raise high expectations in the future without having your opinion, since, as a general rule, it causes rejection of that expectation. For example: “Marcos, one day you will be a great lawyer like your father”; Two things can happen, that Marcos does not like the law and develops an aversion to the career, or that he likes it and develops a fear of not meeting the expectations generated by the father.
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